The Relief That Comes With Death
When someone you live with dies, your life changes dramatically. No doubt there are the tears that well up when you least expect it. There's the love that was aimed repeatedly and directly at you on a daily basis that is now a memory to cherish. And there is relief...
For my father, there was relief from not knowing what the heck happened to his life. How did he go from someone with an iron-clad memory to someone who can't remember what happened only moments before? How did he become so unproductive? It was relief from the confusion that his life had become. It was relief from feeling like there was something wrong with him.
And for me, it was relief from having to answer the same question over and over again, every few minutes. Relief from having to make sure there was someone with him at all times, often keeping my sweetheart and I apart, as one of us would need to remain with Dad. It was new-found thinking space in my brain. It was the ability to experience my emotions at home without having to explain repeatedly to my father, and no longer feeling like I have to hide out to spare mine and my dad's feelings.
So, my life has changed again...as is par for the course. I am in transition, rediscovering how to move through my day. And to get back in the studio- how will my work change? I haven't been in the studio since Dad passed on March 27th. It is still less than a month since he went on his merry way, and I am moving forward slowly, feeling into this newness of life. I have made a date with myself to get back in there tomorrow, and get my ball rolling once again! Stay tuned...
